


Run Until You Fall

by castielsstarr



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Like literally so much fluff and then suddenly, Minor Character Death, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 06:57:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6744073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielsstarr/pseuds/castielsstarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hael didn't know where she was going, just that she needed to. She had to get away. After she gets stuck in a small town in the middle of nowhere, Inias is willing to show her kindness; something she didn't remember people could be. And he’s not the only one either. It makes her kind of want to stay. Could she start over in a place where her past could never find her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry for the SPN Rare Pair Big Bang! I decided to write the rarest pair I could think of and this is somehow what came out of it. It's weird, and I'm not sure how any of this happened. Sorry, not sorry.
> 
> A huge thank you to [maidenpool](http://maidenpool.tumblr.com) for the awesome artwork to go along with this fic! I love that you made one for each chapter and they LOOK SO GOOD. Go check out the [ tumblr post](http://maidenpool.tumblr.com/post/143824337341/title-run-until-you-fall-author-castielsstar) to see the cover art!
> 
> Thanks also to my kick-ass beta [burningwicker](http://burningwicker.tumblr.com) for questioning why the fuck I made some of the choices I made... and then putting up with me when I left some the way they were before, despite her recommendations.

The wind pushed its way into the car through the open windows of the front seat and tossed Hael’s hair wildly around her face. A few strands weaseled into her mouth and she spat them back out. Repeatedly. After a few more times, and much frustration, she tucked her knees up tight under the steering wheel while both hands busied, quickly pulling her hair back into a rough, high ponytail. 

With her hair in her face just a little less, she went back to focusing on the road ahead of her. Right now, it just seemed to stretch forever into the void. The pitch black of a moonless night and the lack of street lights along this highway made everything invisible outside the scope of her headlights. It created a churning nervousness in her gut because she couldn’t know what was going on around her, but she was able to get a few glimpses of more nothingness when another car would come from the opposite direction. 

She was never a fan of darkness, though, oddly enough, she was better about it when she was a small child. Sure, she was occasionally afraid of those monsters that were supposedly hiding under her bed, but this was different. Now that she was older, Hael knew what things hid in the darkness. They were real. And worst of all was knowing that no one was coming to save you.

Her hair, even caught up in her ponytail, still found its way into her mouth and she spat it out again. Hael never even entertained the idea of closing the windows and turning on the air conditioner when she was in the car by herself. Being able to feel the chill and bite of the cold, outside air was grounding. Especially, like tonight, when she needed it the most. It kept her sane. And more importantly than that, it kept her awake.

The song changed on her iPod to a soft, crooning, female folk voice and she frowned. Usually songs like this—the gentle strumming of a guitar and a delicate voice—was able to calm her down. Keep her from making any rash decisions. This song in particular had been a favorite for a long time. But right now it wasn’t helping like it should. All it served to do was agitate her further. 

Hael shifted in her seat, settling back and rolling her shoulders. When that didn’t help relieve the tension, she growled under her breath. Being stressed out was one of the worst feelings she could possibly think of—right up there with being downright terrified and the bloated feeling after eating a whole plate of cheese fries when she knew she was lactose intolerant.

For the record, it didn’t stop her from eating the cheese fries.

This feeling, though? It was awful. Stressed out was the best and easiest thing she could label it, but it was a lot more than just that. Her shoulders were tight, hands shaking, and her left leg could not stay still. Her breathing patterns were weird, too—sometimes ragged and stuttering, other times she would stop altogether until the burning in her lungs told her she needed to take in air.

And for the life of her, she couldn’t make it stop. She tried counting out her breaths, and that did help for a little while, but it wasn’t long before she would get distracted and lose the count. Ultimately, she gave up fighting her body. She let her lungs rattle and her hands tremor, tightly gripped around the steering wheel.

Why did she do this to herself? She could still be at home, wrapped up tight in her blanket, surrounded in warmth. But, no, here she was, on the road in the middle of the night. Hell, it couldn’t even be considered middle of the night, could it? It was more like middle of the very early, ass o’clock, morning at this point. Three a.m. She had left right around two and had managed to get a decent way from town already.

One hour. Hael had already been gone one hour and nothing catastrophic had happened yet. There was no sign from the gods to turn back around, nothing tried to smite her down. She hadn’t even seen a car for a long while. Maybe it was going to be ok. Maybe this was what she was supposed to be doing.

Hael felt a pressure forming in her chest, expanding against her sternum. It pressed tight to her heart before it moved to the base of her throat. That force erupted from her mouth as a laugh, catching her off guard. She clapped her hand over her mouth as an automatic reaction to hold the next one in.

She glanced around, remembering her bearings and let loose another loud peal of laughter. It could have also been called a howl or a cackle, since it was generally a very unattractive sound at this decibel. But it didn’t matter how loud the sound was; no one was there to hear her. She was alone. And, god, did it feel incredible.

Her hand fumbled blindly to turn the volume knob on the stereo and the music blasted as it changed to a rock song. Hael sang along at the top of her lungs, her hand making waves in the air current that rushed outside her window. She screamed loudly into the night air with no one around to hear her for miles. Nothing had ever felt quite this good. Quite this freeing. Quite this scary.

She was alone for the first time in a very, very long time.

It was then that she realized the tears were running down her cheeks.

\-----

The incessant beeping of her alarm brought Hael back to reality. Fumbling with her phone, she was eventually able to get it to stop, but not before she had opened three other apps on accident and deleted one. She made an attempt to stretch her hands above her head, only to bump them against the roof of her car. Fuck. She forgot she had fallen asleep in it, and she also didn’t know where she was parked.

A quick glance out her window told Hael that she had just pulled over onto the shoulder along the same highway she had been on. All right, that was ok—at least she knew where she was.

Her pulse jumped and she righted herself in her seat. No, that actually wasn’t ok. This road was the most commonly used between her town and the others along the way. She had to get off of it now. She was too exposed. It took her less than five seconds to get the key in the ignition and the car started. 

Back on the road, her heartbeat started to even out and the knot in her chest loosened. How could she have been so stupid? She was supposed to get farther than that before she stopped. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. 

Hael took the first exit off of the highway without thinking about it, hoping to come across another town sooner or later. It almost helped if she didn’t know exactly where she was. If she didn’t know, that meant he didn’t either. It was only twenty minutes into the drive and she couldn’t stop yawning. She needed to at least find somewhere to stop for coffee soon. At most she slept for maybe two hours before her alarm was set to go off. Without some caffeine she was bound to crash sooner or later—probably both literally and figuratively.

A sigh of relief escaped when she hit the outskirts of a small town and was pleased to find it had a gas station with a Dunkin Donuts attached. Both of the necessary fuels in one place; she couldn’t have asked for more at the moment. Well, she could have, but it would have been stupid to try. Coffee and gas was good enough.

After fueling up her car, Hael went inside to grab her coffee. It was the same everywhere she went—black, two sugars. She didn’t usually like the fancy coffees; they were too expensive.

The boy behind the counter was nice to her, wishing her a good day, and she smiled politely at him, but it wasn’t a true smile. Nice strangers always made her uncomfortable. She didn’t know anything about them, or they about her, and she couldn’t understand why someone would be nice to her. It was always just unsettling.

Hael glanced up and down the road as she exited the gas station with her coffee in hand. It was only a little busy—nothing out of the ordinary. She was able to breathe just a little easier, but her shoulders were still hunched with tension.

She got back into her car and drove for the rest of the day, heading west toward god-knows-where. It didn’t matter. Any town she hit would have a motel and somewhere to get something to eat. Hael couldn’t remember the last time she truly felt hungry, but it was well before she decided to leave. With her nerves on edge like they had been, it was hard to get her stomach to desire anything other than coffee and water. She just kept forcing herself to eat, anyway.

Around six that evening, she pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store in the next town she came across. As Hael was pulling into a spot, her car shuddered and sputtered to a halt, the engine cutting out completely. “Baby?” She patted the dashboard a few times. “Baby, come on, you can’t do this to me.”

The keys came out of the ignition and she went to pop the hood. The smoke that came billowing out made her cough and it was a clear indicator that something was wrong. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” She kicked the curb in front of her car and slammed the hood shut. Worthless piece of crap. Couldn’t even run right. All the auto shops in a tiny town like this would have kept normal nine-to-five hours. She’d have to wait until morning to get it looked at.

Hael stomped across the parking lot, nudging the gravel about with her shoes. At least it crapped out here and she was able to get something to eat. The sliding doors dinged as she entered the store and she almost grumbled aloud at the irritating noise, but figured the people around her might think she was weird. It was better not to bring attention to herself. 

She found her way to the snack aisle and grabbed a few bags of chips, a box of cookies and a bottle of juice on the next isle over. Not one of the stupid single serving ones, but a full-sized bottle. She was going to sit in the car and binge eat while she tried to think of a plan.

She dropped the snacks onto the belt and followed them up to the cashier. He looked at her without saying anything, but Hael didn’t look at him. She could just feel his eyes on her—not in a creepy way or anything; he was just observing her.

He cleared his throat lightly before asking, “Did you find everything ok?”

She looked up, but only nodded. The cashier had to be close to her age, but the slight smile on his face made him look a bit younger. His hair was shaggy and brown, and his eyes were a steel blue that you could probably mistake for green in the right lighting. Hael wouldn’t call him cute, but he was attractive in his own right.

“I hope I don’t seem too forward, but… is everything all right? I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem a little… m-messed up right now.”

Hael’s first response was not a “yes, fine” like any other person would have replied. She should have said that because then the conversation would have stopped there. Instead, she asked, “How do you mean?”

The boy—Inias, his nametag read—scrunched his eyebrows together and his jaw clenched in thought before his features softened again. “You’ve had a scowl attached to your face since you came in here, and you just… seem a little ruffled. You keep looking over your shoulder.” He realized how candid he was being with a stranger and rushed to amend. “No offense or anything.”

Had she really been that obvious? Shit. She didn’t need random people picking up on her baggage. Hael rolled her shoulders and tried to settle into a more calm frame of mind. Before she could speak, he interrupted.

“Don’t worry. I don’t think anyone else noticed anything besides you being a little grumpy. Oh, m-my name is Inias, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know.” When he looked confused, Hael chuckled and pointed at his chest. “I, um, your name tag.”

“Oh, right. God, that was stupid.” He laughed to himself as he bagged the last of her snacks. “I… I hope everything works out for you.” It sounded more like a question. Poor guy seemed so nervous around her, but his gentle smile held.

Hael picked the bags up from the counter where he placed them and sighed. “Yeah, me, too. Any chance you’ve got an after-hours mechanic in this town?” She glanced behind her to make sure no one else was queued in line before turning back.

Inias shook his head. “No, sadly it's just the one. Why, is something up with your car?”

“Yeah, it broke down as I was pulling in here. Not really sure what happened to it; just stopped running. But, anyway, thanks.” She gestured a wave with the bag and walked toward the door.

“Wait… wait.” Inias came out from around the counter and caught up with her. “Um, I know this is probably too forward, but have you got a place to stay?”

Hael didn’t respond right away, just looked at the floor in front of her feet. She had to come up with a better answer than, “Oh, I’m probably sleeping in my car in this parking lot.” Her money was not going to last forever and she knew whatever was going on with her car was probably going to be costly. Instead, she responded with, “I’m just going to find a motel. Stay there tonight and get my car fixed in the morning.”

Inias shifted on his feet, expression nervous. “Well, I, um, I have space at my apartment if you need some place close by to crash for the night. Plus it’s free. Cars are always expensive to fix, you know?” He must have seen her face shift to confusion and she went to speak, but he interrupted before she could. “I know it’s weird, having a stranger offer to let you stay at his apartment, but I promise that I don’t mean anything by it. You just… you look like you’re having a rough time. Like maybe you deserve to catch a break.”

She was silent again before she nodded softly. “Yeah… yeah, ok, that would be fine, I think.”

“Good, good. I’m, uh, I’m off shift in, like, 20 minutes, so just grab your stuff and I’ll meet you out front?” The smile came back to his face when she nodded and left the store. He watched her all the way out, but Hael didn’t turn back to look.

It was weird, right? Just this random grocery store cashier asking her if she wanted to spend the night as his place. The more she thought through it, the more she almost wanted to say no. She couldn’t, though. It was a free place to stay and as long as he didn’t try anything funny, it was a good offer.

The driver’s side door creaked as she opened it and sat down, leaving the door open. Sure it was cold outside, but Hael didn’t really care. If she wasn’t going to be sleeping in the car tonight, then she didn’t need to make sure to keep it warm, and right now it was doing her some good. Keeping her head clear. 

As weird as it was, the offer really was helpful. She wouldn’t mess up her back sleeping in the car and… just in case. It wouldn’t be obvious where she would be with her car left in the parking lot of a small-town grocery store.

His image appeared in her rear-view mirror not long after she dug into the first bag of chips she had picked up. Sour cream and cheddar—she never thought that it would have tasted so good. She folded the lip of the bag over a few times and stuck it back in with the other snacks. With the plastic bags and her duffle in her arms, she climbed out of the car and locked it before crossing to Inias.

His face brightened when he saw her crossing the lot and he met her to take the heavier bag from her arm. It was… sweet, maybe. “I’ll be honest, I thought you were going to leave.”

“I’ll be honest, I thought about it.” She joked with him, and his smile widened. “Do you think my car will be fine if I leave it here overnight?”

Inias nodded. “You’ll even be able to keep an eye on it, too.” They started walking around the far side of the building where there was a door set into the wall. He fished the keys out of his pocket and unlocked it, holding it open for Hael to enter. There was a flight of stairs that opened out onto a landing, but she couldn’t see much else.

The carpeted stairs protested slightly as she climbed them into the apartment. She wasn’t really sure what she expected to find, but her heart stilled some when it looked just like a normal one-bedroom apartment. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Hael set her bags down next to the couch before turning back to where Inias was kicking off his shoes at the top of the stairs and hanging up his work vest on a hook. “So, I’ve gotta ask,” she said and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Why in the world would you just offer to let a stranger come crash at your place for the night? I could be, like, a burglar or a murderer or something.”

He shrugged, shoulders rolling lightly and palms up. “It’s a small town; not likely to get bad folks coming through here. I’ve made the offer before to people.”

“Has anyone taken you up on it?”

Inias tucked his thumbs into the pockets of his jeans and laughed softly, rocking back on his bare heels. “Ah, no. You’re actually the first that did.”

“You didn’t even ask my name.”

“I figured you’d tell me when you wanted me to know. _If_ you wanted, I mean.” He huffed out a short sigh. “I’m actually not expecting you to tell me your real name. Telling someone their name implies a certain trust.”

“That’s… so strange. But, you’re right.”

He shrugged again and made for the bedroom. “I’m going to take a shower real quick, but then I’ll make dinner for us or something? Sit down, make yourself comfortable, watch some TV if you want to.” He gestured over to the old television in the corner before slipping into his room and closing the door.

Well… this was weird.


	2. Chapter 2

She probably should have at least turned on the TV while he was gone. It would have made her seem less strange than she already did. Especially since she was just staring at random things in his apartment when he got out of the shower. To her defense, at least she had been smart enough to sit down on the couch, so she wasn’t just standing around being awkward.

He came back fully dressed, working a towel against that brown hair to get the extra water out. The t-shirt he wore was a bit tighter than the one he had been wearing for work and Hael could see the bits of muscle pushing against it in his shoulders and torso. That was unexpected.

When he exited his room, she had been staring intently at the fridge—no reasoning for it. That was just the direction her eyes settled for the time being. His entrance did cause her to startle and she tried unsuccessfully to cover it with a cough.

He snorted under his breath, and she let a small glare slip in his direction. It had already fallen away when he turned to her from the kitchen and called, “Anything you don’t eat?”

Hael shook her head before realizing he couldn’t see her. “No, I’m a total omnivore.”

“Good, me too.”

“But, really, you don’t have to make dinner for me. You’re already doing too much just by letting me stay here.”

A couple seconds of silence before he opened the freezer, pulled something out, shut it, and faced her. “I would hardly call frozen pizza ‘making dinner for you’.” He held the giant circle up for her to see and turned it a few times like it was a steering wheel. “Sound good to you?”

What a dork. Hael laughed loudly for what felt like the first time in… god knows how long. The smile kind of hurt her cheeks and she thought maybe she looked awkward. Surprisingly, it felt natural, though. 

That wasn’t right—or it shouldn’t have been. She was hiding out in a stranger’s apartment. She shouldn’t be happy. She shouldn’t even be comfortable.

In the silence that followed while he was preparing the pizza to go in the oven, she made a decision. “Hael,” she said, voice clear and loud enough for him to hear.

He paused for a moment, appearing to listen before he went to look out the small window set into the wall of the kitchen. “No… I don’t see anything out there. They weren’t even calling for precipitation today.” He looked at her, confused.

The smile tugged at one corner of her mouth. “It’s my name. H-A-E-L.” She felt dumb spelling it out, but she couldn’t stop the instinct to do it. Every time she met anyone new she would spell out her name, just so they knew because it was the usual next question. Grade school had been a nightmare.

His face cycled through multiple emotions, but the only ones she was able to pick out were embarrassment and a soft happiness. It wasn’t the bright kind that affects your eyes and splits your mouth wide. It was gentle and understanding. “I like it.”

Ok, he liked it. So, why did that make her face heat up and her stomach turn? Plenty of other people had told her they liked her name. It was unique—it deserved liking. But the fact that this guy in particular liked it made her nervous.

Hael looked up when she felt the couch beside her shift. Inias was suddenly very close and she hadn’t noticed him move. Her heart battered itself against her ribcage. Fuck, no, too close, too close. She shifted back into the very corner of the couch, knees tucked up to her chest. Her shoulders were hunched a little, curling into herself, fight or flight instincts kicking in. Every impulse in her said run, run, run, but she managed to stay put.

“Whoa, hey, I’m sorry.” He held his hands out in front of him and shifted back to the far side of the couch. “Look, I’ll stay over here, ok? I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

She started to ease her way down, calm her heartbeat and control her breathing, but her muscles stayed tight, ready to bolt. Her reactions were completely unpredictable, so she was surprised when her nose started to prickle with the feeling of tears coming to her eyes. Hael’d been in these situations before and the reaction was always different. Sometimes she didn’t react at all to the closeness of another person. “I-I’m sorry. Really, everything is fine.”

“If there’s anything you need me to do, or not do, let me know, yeah?” Inias’ eyebrows were drawn in concern and his eyes held something unexpected. Hael couldn’t tell what it was. Sadness, maybe? Why would he be sad?

She nodded quickly to assure him that she heard. He was about to speak, but the timer for the oven cut him off, signaling that the pizza needed to be put in. He held up one finger to her and moved slowly off the couch to the kitchen. 

Fuck, now he was going to baby her. She didn’t need that shit. Shouldn’t need it. She should be strong enough to handle being close to another human being without spazzing. A few deep breaths calmed her further and when Inias came back, she promised herself she’d react to things like a normal person. Not whatever damaged goods she was these days.

After the pizza went in the oven, Inias came back to the living room and sat down at that far end of the couch again. She smiled at him—obviously a fake one, but he wouldn’t know—and tried to break the tension. “I’m sorry for that. I get just a little jumpy sometimes.” A soft laugh was added to seal her lie.

Inias nodded, but his look was unconvinced. “It’s not a problem.” He did smile at her, but Hael couldn’t see the light in his eyes the way she had every time before. Fuck, he was probably regretting bringing her into the apartment now. “Do you want to watch a movie or two?”

“Um, yeah. That would be good.”

“Cool.” That spark started to light again and she found herself settling, knowing it was there. “Do you have any preferences?”

Hael shrugged. “I’m as omnivorous with my movies as I am with my food.”

That got a laugh out of Inias and, hell, if it wasn’t a great sound. It was a lot of things, a lot of good things, and it made her smile—a real one—in return. “Ok, well, why don’t we pick one from each end of the spectrum. One gorey, bloody horror and one sappy, romantic chick-flick?”

“You’re willing to watch a chick-flick? I’ve never met a guy who would unless under threat of death,” she teased.

“Well, clearly, you’ve never met a guy like me.” He stood and walked to the entertainment center, popping open each of the little cabinet doors across the bottom. “Hael, meet my movie collection.”

“Holy hell, dude.” She slid off the couch, onto her knees, and crawled over to look inside all of them. He had more than she could have thought would have fit in those small spaces. “What did you do, raid a freaking Blockbuster?”

He laughed again. “Points for the Blockbuster mention. No, I’ve just been collecting them over the years. Walmart five dollar movie bins mostly.”

“It’s impressive.” She ran her fingers over the spines of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

“Thanks. So, I figure I’ll let you pick the horror movie and I’ll pick the chick-flick?”

She nodded and looked around the films. “Where…”

“Horror is down this end.”

“Got it.” Hael shifted over to the horror-appointed cubby and began digging around. She laughed when she found the one she wanted. This shit always creeped her out and she loved it in some messed up way. She took it back to the couch, holding it close against her chest, shielding it with her hands. “I’m so glad you have this one. It’s one of my favorites.”

Inias came and sat back on his end of the couch, his movie choice clutched in a similar fashion. “On three?”

Hael nodded. At three they flipped the DVD’s around. Hael held _Wrong Turn_ and Inias had picked _13 Going On 30_. “What in the heck is that?” She reached out for the movie and he handed it to her. She skimmed the back of it and nodded.

“You’ve never seen this before?” She shook her head and handed it back to him. “Oh, man, it’s cute. I think you’ll like it. Which one do you want first?”

“This one.” Hael held out the horror flick for him to put in the DVD player. It was her favorite movie genre, which, given her circumstances, was a little strange. Some of the films in the genre just seemed so much more believable than the romances. The guy doesn’t come riding in on a white horse to sweep the princess off her feet. He comes riding in on a beat up El Dorado that he bought off some old guy in Chicago. The only thing they had in common was color.

They settled into their opposite couch corners once Inias popped the movie in. They sat and watched, not saying anything until the oven dinged and the pizza needed to be pulled out. Inias hopped up and when he returned he was carrying two plates with three slices each. Hael rose a slight bit to take the plate, smiling and thanking him. Both of them were starting to feel more at ease in the other’s presence and they started joking together and yelling comments at the television as people were getting slaughtered.

The more Hael laughed, the more she realized how much she missed laughing. One particular comment regarding the constant stupidity of the characters got to her so much that she stopped being able to breathe for a few minutes. Her lungs hurt and her ribs ached, and when she finally settled, Inias was looking at her, smiling wide. Stupid blue eyes looked at her with an inflection she hadn’t seen downstairs in the grocery store. It was almost like this kid hadn’t experienced friendship in a long time. But neither had she, she guessed. For once, it was nice to be seen.

Sometime after she finished her pizza, Hael shifted half of a cushion closer to Inias when he started making fake voices over the film as a girl was about to get killed, joking about the virgin trope in horror movies. It was just to hear him better, but she found that the closeness wasn’t making her anxious this time. He must have just moved too quickly before; startled her into thinking that he was going to do something bad.

By the time the first movie had finished and they put the second one on, Hael was sitting on the cushion directly beside him. They weren’t touching—she knew better than to get _that_ close to anyone—but it was a friendly distance. She was able to talk, watch the little tics of his face when he would laugh or focus too hard, all the things that were harder to do if she was still on the other side of the couch.

Inias was, overall, a lot quieter during this movie than he was the last. Toward the end, he actually sighed as the love interest and the girl were having a moment together. Hael eyed him and scoffed, bringing his attention to her. “What?” he asked.

“You.”

He cocked his head slightly to the side and Hael would be damned if it wasn’t the most adorable thing she’d seen. “What about me?”

“You’re over there practically melting because they’re talking to each other.” She gestured at the screen. “You can’t actually believe this junk.”

Inias turned fully in his seat to face her, his back now resting against the arm of the couch, one leg tucked beneath him. “Who wouldn’t believe in true love?”

Hael raised her hand.

“But… why?” She had genuinely baffled him and he was staring at her, wide-eyed.

“I don’t know.” The ring situated on her middle finger was suddenly of great interest. Deflect. Hide. “I guess I’ve just never seen it before.” Damn. A little too close to the truth.

“What about, like, your mom and dad? Were they ever happy?” The question was personal, but she didn’t mind talking about her parents, even if the story wasn’t a good one.

“Nah, happy was never in the cards. Dad was a deadbeat who was never around and Mom coped with that by being addicted to heroin.”

“Is she getting help?”

Hael let out one of those low, dark laughs as she looked up at him again—the kind of laugh that everyone with a fucked up past knew. She could see the flicker of recognition on Inias’ face before she spoke. She replied, “Only if you call six feet under ‘getting help’.”

Where most people would flinch, he simply nodded. “How long?”

“Three years.”

“I’m sorry.”

She shrugged it off. “She made a choice.”

Inias’ brow furrowed and, while she wouldn’t call the expression angry, it was definitely a version of annoyed. “Well… she made the wrong one.”

“And what about you, hmm? How is it that you’ve come to live on your own already?” 

His expression faltered before he corrected himself. “Fair is fair. I, uh, my parents didn’t really want me. They weren’t planning on having kids at all, but then my mom got knocked up and my dad wouldn’t let her abort me. Then it turns out after I was born, my dad realized he didn’t want me, either. So, Mom grew bitter and resentful, Dad turned into a raging alcoholic, and I got my ass out of there as soon as I could.”

Hael had expected a story like that, but what she hadn’t seen coming was the amount of sadness that still filled his eyes to talk about it. From what she had experienced, the kids from broken homes usually hardened themselves to life and disappointment. After a while, they didn’t let the recounting of their beginnings get to them. This still hurt him like it was fresh. 

“I’m sorry for bringing it up.” She said softly, running her hand nervously across the top of her thigh.

Inias glanced at his watch and then turned that smile back to her, the hurt from moments before having been replaced with thin fake veneer. Hael was going to let him keep it without saying a word. “I think it’s time for me to hit the hay. I’ve got a shift at eight.” He yawned a little and stretched. “The bed is all made up for you and don’t even think about arguing me for the couch. I’m not taking no. Well… unless you really don’t want to.”

She nodded and stood to move for the bedroom, but her feet got a little trapped in the carpet. “Thank you, Inias.” It was obvious she was thanking him for more than the bed, but neither of them acknowledged it. Hael went into the bedroom and shut the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure her name is pronounced a little differently than the weather phenomenon, but I literally could not give two shits and I thought it was a cute scene, so it stayed. I've also never seen the horror movie. However, I have seen 13 Going On 30 more times than I can count.


	3. Chapter 3

Mornings were not her thing. Especially the ones that came with chirping birds and too much sunlight. Unfortunately, Hael was having to deal with both of those things, and she wanted nothing more than to crawl back under the covers and sleep for half the day. But there were adult things to do, and she needed to get back on the road as soon as her car would allow.

Hael left before Inias was even awake that morning, which was odd because his shift started in less than thirty minutes. He must have been one of those guys that rolled out of bed and into whatever clothes he found. Couldn’t blame him for it. She used to do the same thing.

The car was right where she left it in the parking lot, no damage to her. If Hael had done this back home, the car would have been stripped for parts and left where it stood. She guessed it was true that the smallest towns were better, with their lower crime rates and friendlier people. She liked them a lot. Hell, maybe after a little bit of time, she’d be able to pick one and settle down. The thought of maybe coming back here floated in and she tamped it down. There wasn’t anything here that she needed that she couldn’t get anywhere else.

An attempt was made to start the car, but her baby refused. She was going to have to walk over to the mechanic and ask them to tow her over to them. Surprisingly, she never saw Inias come downstairs before she left, but it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe she would pop into the store on her way out of town and thank him again for letting her crash.

Luckily the trek wasn’t far—just a few minutes up the road. A man was flipping on the lighted open sign when she crossed the gravel parking lot to the building. When she went in, he had already migrated behind the small desk and was picking up a clipboard with some paperwork attached. “Won’t start?”

Hael shook her head. “She’s down at the grocery store.”

He nodded and took the keys from her. “You fill that out and I’ll go pick her up. Be right back.” He left through the door into the garage and after a minute or two, she heard the tow truck rumble and pull out onto the street. She didn’t have to wait too long after she had finished scribbling down her information on the sheets before he came back into the shop the same way he went out.

“You plan to wait here?”

She thought for a minute and shrugged. “Got no place else to be.”

He nodded in understanding. “I’ll check her out real quick and let you know what I find. How much you got on you?”

Damn, she really must look like a drifter if he was going to flat-out ask. “Couple hundred. Hoping it won’t be more than a battery issue.”

“I hope so, too, for your sake.” He took the clipboard from her hands and went back out into the garage.

She frowned at his back as he left and closed the door behind him. The room was quiet. It must have been a good half hour of staring at the walls and twirling the ring on her thumb before the mechanic came back in. To say she held her breath would be an exaggeration, but it did stutter while he looked through some papers on the desk.

“Well,” he finally said, “it’s not good news, kiddo.”

She didn’t figure it was going to be; her luck was never that good. “How much?”

“More than you’ve got.”

Fuck.

“Well, what is the absolute minimum that needs to be done to get her to run legally? I know she’s got other things that should be fixed, but I’m not required to address them until they actually fail.”

“Five hundred. I can knock it down to four-fifty ‘cause the way you’re lookin’ at me says that you can’t catch a break, but I can’t go lower than that ‘cause of the parts.”

“Ok. I’ve got two-seventy-five now and I can get you the rest by tonight.” He cocked an eyebrow at her. “I’m not robbing any banks, I promise. How quickly can you get her fixed?”

“Won’t be ‘til tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. I need to get a part shipped over from Lawrence.”

Double fuck.

She was going to be stuck here overnight again. It would probably be weird to ask Inias if she could stay with him for a second night. It was fine when he offered, but her asking would be awkward. “All right, go ahead and do it. Can I just get some stuff out of my backseat real quick?” He nodded and motioned toward the same door.

The garage was smaller than she thought it would be—almost like a normal-sized one, maybe a little taller. She got her bag of snacks from the back seat and went to open the trunk. There was a chance that something of his was left in the car and she couldn’t risk the mechanic finding it. He seemed reasonable enough, but she didn’t know if he would report her or not.

After shifting all of the emergency supplies, she ran her hands over the floor of the trunk, checking all of the edges and corners. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Wait.

The carpet was a little frayed in the back right. She all but laid herself full out to get access to it, fingers pressing down until they found a small lump. That motherfucker. There was something there.

Her hands tore at the edge of the carpeting, getting it ripped open enough for her to get at least a few fingers in there. As soon as she felt the smooth, thin plastic, she didn’t have to think about what it could be. Those were _his_ baggies and that could only be his drug of choice. 

Snow. He never called it by what it actually was—always snow. The type that can cause euphoria and nosebleeds, among other things. The kind she used to partake in, back when this wasn’t a problem. Back when he was a good man. Back when they were happy. She wanted to kick herself for the way her eyes teared up thinking about him.

Hael slid the small baggie into her pants pocket before she straightened herself. She also grabbed the half-full bottle of whiskey she kept stashed in a small travel bag for emergencies. This could definitely be considered one.

“Find what you were looking for in there?” The mechanic called to her as he came out the garage door.

She nodded and held up the bag containing the alcohol. “Figured I might want some later.”

He laughed heartily. “Good call. Now, get on outta here. Got work to do.”

Hael gave a mock salute and left back through the shop and out onto the main road. The view in either direction didn’t look entirely promising. It wasn’t even that early in the morning, but there were hardly any people out here. It was almost a little eerie.

At one end of the road, before the trees took over again, was the bank, and at the other end was what looked like a biker bar. She chose the direction of the bar and began the walk over. Obviously it wasn’t going to be open this early in the morning, but they had benches outside, and she figured she’d just go have a seat until they did.

It wasn’t ideal, being out in the open like that. Her nerves jumped every time she heard a car come around the bend. She needed to relax. The chances that out of all the little towns they would manage to find this one were slim. She couldn’t stay long, of course, but she was likely safe until her car was fixed tomorrow.

But, for now she needed to think about the money. Before, she had been bluffing to the guy about getting the money from the bank. There was no money that she could access because her account was his and she didn’t want the transaction to alert him to where she was. Her palm came to rest on the slight bulge in her pocket.

Hael had a pretty damn good idea of how she would be getting the money now.

She startled as the door to the bar banged open and a woman stepped out onto the small porch. Her hair was a dark blonde and she wore jeans and tank top. She was older, but still beautiful. “Whatcha doin’ waiting out here, darling?”

Her reply was flustered. “I, uh, I know you’re likely not open yet, so I was just… waiting.”

The woman laughed and gestured Hael over to her. “This is the Roadhouse, sweetheart. We don’t ever close.” When Hael didn’t get up right away, she repeated the motion before turning to walk back inside.

Small town people were such a different breed than what she was used to. Usually one was not personally invited into a bar. But, then again, it also wasn’t normal to be sitting right outside of a bar. She grabbed the bags and followed the woman.

It was actually nicer inside than she had thought it would be. Everything was made with warm wood and the place smelled clean instead of like urine and stale smoke. And based on all the bottles lining the mirrored wall behind the bar, well-stocked with things other than your bottom shelf brands.

“Have yourself a seat,” the woman said and pointed toward the bar. Hael noticed there was one other person in the establishment and he was lying spread eagle across one of the large tables.

Hael chuckled a little as he let out a loud snore. “Town drunk?”

“Nah, that’s Ash. He works for me. Sometimes he’s just too tired to go upstairs to bed. He claims that table is comfortable enough for him, but I don’t see how. Kid’s always been a little strange.”

“So, you own the place?” Hael picked a seat toward the end where the woman was working on cleaning the bar top and organizing bottles.

“Sure do. Was my daddy’s before me.” She laughed and the sound was clear and warm. “I’m your classic stereotype. Grow up in a small town, don’t leave, and take over the family business.”

She nodded. “It’s not a bad thing. World out there isn’t so great, anyway.”

The woman shook her head. “Who jaded you this early in life?”

Hael sat up a little straighter and fumbled over her words to try and get some reply out.

“It was a rhetorical question, don’t worry. We all got our secrets.”

She nodded. For some reason or another, this bar owner understood. People didn’t back off unless they knew the feeling personally. It earned her a lot of points. She cleared her throat before speaking. “I’m Hael.”

“Good name. Nice to meet you. I’m Ellen.” 

There was a crash from the back room and a loud, “Fuck, sorry!” It caused the guy with the mullet, Ash, to jolt awake.

Ellen hung her head between both arms, hands pressed to the bar. “And that, there, is my daughter Jo. She got her grace from her daddy.” Ellen was smiling and shaking her head when she stood straight again.

Ash was off the table and headed for the back. “So help me, Jo, if you broke that new shipment of glasses!”

“You know what? Bite me!” Jo hollered back, voice louder as the door to the back room swung open and Ash went in to assess the damage.

It quieted again and Hael smirked. “He yours, too?”

“No, but they sure do fight like siblings. He’s a good kid, though. Kept his nose out of trouble after high school, so I let him come live here and work.”

“Sounds fair.”

The silence settled for a few minutes before Ellen asked the question Hael knew was coming. “So, you’re clearly not from around here.”

“No, ah… no, I’m not.”

“You running from that thing that’s jaded you? Still rhetorical.”

People who worked in bars were too perceptive for their own good. They saw others day in and day out; it made sense that they were able to see these things when no one else could. Hael nodded.

Ellen mirrored the action. “So, are you one of those people that doesn’t believe in a little morning bourbon? On the house.” Both of their smiles grew and Hael didn’t even have to nod before Ellen was pulling a bottle down from the high shelf. A solid two fingers was poured into each of the short tumblers she set on the bar.

They raised their glasses to each other before Hael took a large swallow of hers. “Damn.” The velvet burn down her throat was just too good.

“I know, right? It’s my favorite. Expensive as shit, but worth it.”

“So much better than the shit I usually drink. And if I’m having morning bourbon, it’s usually left over from the night before.”

“What’s your normal?”

“Beam.”

“Jesus, fuck.” They both laughed and sipped some more from their glasses.

“Is it cool if I just hang out here today?” Hael finally asked. “My car is in the shop ‘til tomorrow and I don’t really know what else there is to do in town. I’ve got a book, so I’ll just keep out of the way.”

“Yeah, course that’s fine. The Roadhouse takes in wayward travelers like you all the time. Some of them even choose to stay.” Ellen was pointing at a muscular man who had just walked through the door. He was carrying a few crates that he brought around the bar and placed on the floor. “This one here came to us after his girlfriend left him. He set out to find himself and it just happened to be here.”

“That was three years ago now, cher. Y’can stop tellin’ everyone.” He dusted his hand off and stuck it out for Hael to shake. “Name’s Benny,” he said in a spectacular Louisiana drawl. Anyone who could leave a man with a voice like that clearly had their priorities screwed up in the first place.

“Hael. Nice to meet you.” She shook his hand and the grip was firm and warm. Nice smile, too.

“Got a couple more things to bring in.” He directed the statement to Ellen, she nodded, and he exited the bar. Hael couldn’t help as her eyes followed him out.

“He is something, ain’t he?” Ellen said.

“That indeed.” She chuckled.


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of the morning and most of the afternoon was spent between reading in the back corner booth she had claimed and talking with the staff of the bar. She liked conversing with Ellen the most, and the fact that she usually brought over a fresh glass of bourbon every couple of hours didn’t hurt either. Hael tried to pass her a couple of the $20 bills she had, but Ellen just shoved them back across the table at her.

Benny brought out a plate of nachos and they ate together. The conversation between them was easy and joking. Hael wasn’t used to people being this nice, but it was something she thought she could get used to. They talked for over an hour before Ellen threw a dish rag at his head and told him to go help Jo.

Every time Hael shifted in her seat, she became more aware of the little bag pressing into her leg. She was going to have to do something about it and soon. The longer it stayed on her person, the more likely she was to get caught with it. As much as she didn’t want to admit to it, the more likely she was to use it, too. This town had to have a shady part—everywhere did. She just had to find it and find someone willing to buy this stuff off of her. Theoretically, it should get her enough money to cover the car and a little extra, so long as no one tried to stiff her.

The thought of having to sell again made her squirm in her seat. Selling drugs out in back alleys was not what she thought she would be doing with her life. She was smart; she could have gotten through school and done whatever she wanted. But because of him she dropped out after freshman year, deciding to move in with him, much to her parent’s dismay. The parents who had promptly disowned her and whom she hadn’t spoken to in almost three years.

Ash, who was the current conversationalist seated across from her, cocked his head slightly. “Hey, you ok? You’re kind of fidgety.”

Hael tucked her hands under her legs and forced that bright smile to return to her face. “Yeah, everything’s great.”

She hadn’t convinced him. “You know, when I get all antsy and stuff, I go walk the alley out back of the bar. Nice long street back there, and just go back and forth a couple times until my energy wears down. You just gotta avoid talking to any of the people. Some not great folks.”

Just like that, her information was handed to her with a nice, tied-up ribbon. It couldn’t have been more well-timed. “Thanks, Ash. I, uh, I think I might do that. Let Ellen know I’ll be back in a few, yeah?” She stood and left the bar. Checking to see if anyone was following her, she went around the side of the building and down to the alley.

Alley was a misnomer since this was practically a street. It was wide enough for a car to fit through without problem. Ash was right, though. There were a few people occupying space on the street. A couple of them were clearly homeless, but there was one guy leaned up against the side of the building who looked just the type.

He had on dark jeans that were pretty ripped up and only a faded t-shirt despite the slight chill. He appeared completely non-threatening as she approached him; barely had any stubble on that baby face and his hair fell shaggy into his eyes. She slowed a little as she approached, but didn’t show much interest in making contact. She had a feeling he would come to her.

“What are you doing out here? Haven’t seen you before.” His voice was so plain and normal.

“Just out for a walk.” She pulled up short in front of him, hands tucked into her pockets.

He nodded and smiled just a little at her. “You wouldn’t, uh… you wouldn’t happen to be in need of anything would you?” Right to the point. Just the way she needed it to be. She needed to get this done now.

“Well, the thing is, I’m actually looking to move a little something of my own. Not trying to encroach on your territory or anything, I promise. I’m only in town for today, but I really need to get rid of this. Maybe I can sell it to you at a discount and you can then resell to your… clients?”

Curiosity overtook his face, which was exactly what she needed. She needed to hold his attention. His question surprised her when he asked, “So, what’s your name?” Hael was silent for a moment trying to figure out what to say, but she didn’t formulate a full response before he spoke again. “Look, I just like to know the names of the people I’m dealing with before we strike up a bargain. I’m Andy.” He stuck one hand out to shake hers and she took it with caution.

“Abby.” Hell if she was going to tell a drug dealer her real name.

“Short for Abigail?”

“Abaddon, actually.” Why had she created such a silly name for her alter ego back in high school? She should have just said it was Abigail and left it alone.

“I like it. It’s very unusual. So, Abaddon. What do you have for me? Weed?”

She shook her head and silently pulled the baggie partially out of her pocket—just enough so he could see what it contained—before pushing it back in.

Andy smiled at her and it wasn’t creepy. Even the drug dealers were nice in this town? That fact made it incredibly unsettling, but she held her ground. “I actually have a need for some of that. How much are you willing to sell to me?”

“All of it. I need it gone.”

“How much you want for it?”

Her blue eyes flicked to the ground when he asked and she mentally cursed herself for looking sheepish. This was the part that she needed to be firmest about. “Six hundred.”

Andy chuckled. “You know that’s a little steep, right? I mean, I’m a good sell, but I wouldn’t be able to make much profit off of it at a price like that.”

Which is why she had overbid him to bring it down. “I’m sorry, but the lowest I could go is five-fifty.”

He nodded, clearly thinking it over. If he did what she thought he would… “I can’t take it unless you can come down to five hundred.” Excellent.

“All right, five hundred sounds fair.” She stuck her hand out for him to shake. “Should I come by later?”

“I’ll have your money for you in a couple hours. You come find me when you’re ready, Abaddon.” He said it like he enjoyed the way it rolled off his tongue.

Hael nodded once and turned to find her way back inside the bar. It had gotten a little chillier outside and another glass of bourbon sounded like just the thing to calm the shaking in her hands. She had rounded the corner onto the main street and was about to walk up the steps.

“Hael!”

She turned quickly, almost losing her footing, to find the source of the voice. All the people who knew her name were still inside the bar, except for—

“Oh, Inias, hi.”

He caught up to her. “Hey, you look a little spooked. I’m sorry if I startled you.”

“No, no, you’re fine,” she said. Which was better than saying, “oh, it not you, just the drugs that are burning a hole in my pocket.”

“I thought you had left town. Both you and your car were gone when I went to open the store this morning.”

She shook her head and sighed. “Getting fixed still. Guy said he would get the part shipped over and have her working by tomorrow afternoon.”

He didn’t even bother trying to hide the way his face lit up. What was it about her that he liked? There wasn’t anything special. Hell, there wasn’t even anything _good_. “Well, I’m off for the rest of the evening. So, let’s do something fun and later we can hang out and continue our movie marathon. I’m off tomorrow, so I can stay up late tonight.”

Wait, what? Just like that, he was inviting her over again? Hael wanted to politely decline his offer and sit in the bar drinking herself into a stupor, but what came out of her mouth instead was, “Uh, yeah, that sounds good. Thanks.” 

She was internally cursing herself when his hand caught hers and started to pull her away from the steps of the bar. “There’s this place I want to take you to. Obviously, it’s not much, but… I don’t know, it’s probably stupid.”

“Well, then let’s see this thing that’s probably stupid.” Hael gave his hand a soft squeeze. Yeah, it was cheesy and a very dumb thing to say, but man, it got Inias smiling. And for some reason that made her happy, too. What the hell was happening to her? He let her hand go before she had a chance to make it awkward, luckily.

They walked along the side of the road for a while before turning and ducking under the trees into the woods. “So, you know how creepy this looks, right? Pulling a girl you hardly know out into the forest for reasons unknown.” She forced a laugh to let him know that it was a joke.

“Yeah, you know me. Always trying to abduct people for nefarious activities.”

The laugh was real that time. “You’re such a dork.”

“True, but for some reason you seem ok with that.”

Hael shrugged. “I may be a bit of a dork myself, if I’m honest.”

“Good,” he said as he pulled up some low-hanging pine branches for her to duck under. “I only associate with dorks. Exclusive club.” He followed her under the branches and let them fall closed.

She had heard it bubbling from the other side of the trees, but she hadn’t believed how clear the water would be. Where she was from water was murky and undrinkable. But this was clear all the way down to the bottom where small rocks coated it. The waterfall was small, no more than at hip height, but it still added that ripple to the water. Words weren’t coming to her as she turned to Inias.

“Don’t worry about it,” as if he could read her mind. “Just come sit here for a while and watch, ok?”

Hael nodded and followed Inias over to a large, flat rock on the shore of the pond. Were she barefoot, she could have dipped her toes in, but the water was probably too cold by now. They sat side by side looking out over the water for god-knows how long before either of them spoke again.

To her surprise, she was the one to speak first. “Thank you.” Her voice was low and quiet—maybe a way of not disturbing the nature around her. “This is… so amazing.”

Inias nudged her shoulder lightly with his. “I thought you might like it. You needed to see something that would remind you that the world isn’t full of all bad things. I could tell.”

She frowned at the water where it was moving in the tiniest of waves against the edge of their rock. “When did you become so perceptive?” She grumbled.

He shrugged. “Always a talent, I guess. I picked it up when I was younger and my mom refused to speak to me. Had to figure out what I did wrong and how to fix it without any cues.”

When she looked at him, that sadness—the one she saw the night before—colored his face again. Hael hated that look on him, but she couldn’t say why. It felt natural at that point to put her hand over top of his where it rested between them on the rock. What that touch was offering, she didn’t quite know. Empathy, companionship, trust—anything and everything.

The way he looked over at her, she could tell he felt them all, too. Neither of them knew what to do with those feelings, so they turned back to look at the water without saying a word, their hands still touching.

It was impossible to tell how long they sat like that, not speaking, but it was comfortable, so neither moved until Hael noticed that the sun was starting to set. She needed to head back to Ellen’s before it was well and truly dark; not the best time to finish out a drug deal.

She sighed and nudged him once before getting to her feet. “There’s this bar I was hanging out at earlier today. Do you want to go there and grab some food?”

“The Roadhouse? Yeah, I could eat.” His stomach rumbled at the same time. “Benny makes some killer chili cheese fries.”

“If his nachos are anything to go off of, I’d believe it.”

The two of them chattered a bit as they made their way out of the woods and back to the bar. The place was packed, forcing them to take the only remaining two bar stools. Ellen came out from around the bar to hug Inias tightly, whispering something in his ear that he only nodded to. They were both smiling.

Hael gave him a questioning side glance, but he didn’t acknowledge it. He simply turned to face the bar and Ellen as she went back around it. “So, Benny on the clock tonight?”

She nodded. “Even if he wasn’t, you know he’d come down and see you, Inias. And make you those chili cheese fries I know you’re going to ask for.”

His laugh was clear. “I’m predictable, I know.”

Ellen pulled two glasses up onto the bar, one of which she poured more of that delicious bourbon into and set it down in front of Hael. The buzz she had from earlier had worn down almost all the way, but she wouldn’t argue with getting it going again. Especially since she wanted to forget about the fact that she was about to go accept money from a stranger in exchange for cocaine.

Fuck.

She tipped the glass back, getting about a full finger’s worth in her mouth before swallowing it down.

“Easy there, killer.” Benny fake whispered in her ear as he passed around her to clap Inias on the back. “How ya doin’, brother? It’s been awhile since ya been in here.”

“I’m good, Benny, thanks. Just been keeping busy, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Well, hey, stop bein’ so busy and come back to poker nights, yeah? I know Gabe has been missin’ ya. And I guess I have, too.”

“Sure, sure. Maybe next month.”

Hael took another small sip as she watched the exchange. Something wasn’t right about it and it was pretty obvious. Inias was comfortable with Benny, but the idea of being around more didn’t thrill him. She shrugged it off; she wasn’t going to be in town more than a day longer.

Benny changed the subject and they kept talking—if she was ever going to catch a break, this was it.

“I’ll be right back, guys. Just got to make a call real quick.” She waggled her cell phone at them before sliding off of her seat. They didn’t need to know that the damn thing had been turned off since she left home. He was just the type of person who would activate the GPS tracker on her phone, so she couldn’t trust to turn it on. She’d probably have to ditch it sooner or later.

Back behind the bar, there were more people than earlier. Most were just sitting and smoking on either side of the alley way, but there was the one figure leaning against the building in the same spot as earlier. Hael made a beeline for him, ready to get this done and over with. The bums and other druggies were watching her intently; she could feel their eyes on her and it made her heart ratchet up a few beats per minute.

“Hello, hello,” the man—Andy—spoke. “I thought you might not come back, my queen. Leaving a poor peasant like me helpless and hopeless, lost without your—”

Her hand held in the air before his face was enough to silence him. “Enough with the theatrics. Are we doing this?”

Andy pulled a small wad of bills out of his jacket pocket and held it low against his stomach. Hael was blocking him from view of the rest of the alley, so she didn’t need to worry about what the others could see. Not that it mattered; she was sure Andy had a reputation and they all knew what was going down, anyway.

She took the baggie from her pocket, keeping it tucked into her palm as she reached for his hand to shake. Hael used to be smooth with this kind of transaction, but the couple of years had left her fumbling and damn near dropping the money on the ground.

He gave a small snort at her gracelessness, but didn’t outright tease her. Instead, he opened the bag and stuck the nail of his pinky finger in to collect a small portion, which he quickly snorted. “Oh, shit, man. I could tell by looking at it that it was going to be good, but this is barely cut. For bringing me such a good find…” He tipped the opening of the bag to her.

Shit, no. He was offering her some of it. Her fingers itched to reach out for it, but she had been clean for almost a year now. She couldn’t accept it. Hael shook her head and folded her arms over her chest. _Walk away, walk away, walk away_ , she willed herself, but her feet stayed planted.

“Oh, c’mon. It’s just one bump, it won’t kill you,” he prodded. “It would be rude not to.”

“I can’t, I—”

“You can’t, you’re clean? I’ve heard that before.” He shook the bag to bring her attention back to it, tempting. “C’mon.”

If asked, she would have said she was coerced; that he forced her hand. That she couldn’t resist his sweet face or something. But that was only because she wasn’t ok with the fact that she made the decision herself to reach over and dip her pinkie nail into the fine, white dust.


	5. Chapter 5

Hael had no idea how long she had been sitting there on the curb. Andy had wandered off almost immediately after the deal and it could have been minutes or hours ago. Even with the cocaine in her system, she felt god-awful. Her head was buzzing and her body felt comfortable, but it was trying to compete with this horrendous feeling of failure.

God, she’d fucked up—shouldn’t have taken it. Everything in her screamed not to, except for that one little piece of her brain, hiding out in a dark corner that said she needed this. This was how she was supposed to feel alive. Even the slight breeze against her arms set her heart fluttering because it just felt so _good_. Her heart was racing and it should have scared her, but it didn’t. Being able to feel—anything, everything—was a rush. It was amazing. The thought that stopped her from reveling in it was that when it wore off, she was going to crave more.

This was who she was when she was with him; she couldn’t be that person anymore. Her dark hair was falling around her face, curtaining her from the rest of the street. It was an isolation this time, not a comfort. Anyone could see her and it was shameful. Hael wanted to be far away from them, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. She tried to force herself to get up—away from the bar, away from the whole fucking town—but she got as far as shifting one leg to stretch out while the other remained tucked close to her body.

The hand that pressed slowly to her shoulder blade startled her and she jerked away from the touch. Was one of these druggies trying to mug her? Was it the cops? 

“Hey, hey, hey. Easy. It’s ok.”

A familiar voice—gentle and kind—she couldn’t place it. There were two hands held up in front of her, which she presumed were attached to a person. Her eyes travelled palms, wrists, arms, shoulders, to a face that was swimming a little. It came into focus. Inias.

Shit, he couldn’t see this. Hael tried once again to stand and fell sideways. Her body wasn’t used to the drug anymore—she took too much. His face went out of focus again as the ground rose up closer to her, but she could feel his hands on her upper arms. They were warm, righting her to sitting again. Ok, movement wasn’t her friend; she was just going to stay still.

“Hael, hey, look here.” Her sight was drawn again to his face, concern coloring his expression. “What happened?”

Whether she couldn’t or just didn’t want to speak, she wasn’t sure. Her lips didn’t even try to form a response because there wasn’t one in her head. Inias was surveying the alley, but she didn’t know for what. Hael looked, too, trying to find what he was searching for. Heat left one arm and found its way to the back of her head. She was being turned back to him.

Inias. Sweet, kind Inias. So cute and innocent. Maybe in another life she could have been with someone like him if she hadn’t messed up her life. A fucked-up, drug-dealing runaway. She was delayed in registering the smile on her face and giggle she let out. 

His frown deepened. “Can you stand?” he asked. 

She felt herself nod more than she allowed the action to happen and then she was being hoisted to her feet. Her vision shifted again, but she was able to keep her footing and focus quick enough. She was pressed tight to his chest, his arms around her waist. Probably the only reason she was upright. Even through clothing, his touch warmed her and she leaned in closer, forehead resting on his shoulder.

“Uh-uh, not yet. You can’t sleep yet.” She wasn’t falling asleep, didn’t he know that? She just enjoyed the heat that was emanating from the crook of his neck. He jostled her away from his body, keeping hands on her hips. “Let’s go home and then we’ll talk. Do I need to carry you?”

Home. He had said home. Hael shook her head. “No, I got it.” The first few steps were uncoordinated and she lurched sideways once before righting herself. Focus. It was step after step, and it seemed like no time at all before Inias was instructing her to sit down on the couch in his apartment. When had they even gotten up the stairs? A glass of water was placed in her hands and she took a few sips of it before lowering it to hold in her lap.

Her head was starting to clear some and she was able to focus when Inias spoke. “You’re high, aren’t you?” It was obvious that she was, but surprisingly, his questioning wasn’t accusing or disgusted. He just wanted to know. Wanted her to tell the truth, and it alarmed her that she wanted it, too.

“Yes,” she said, slowly.

“Andy, wasn’t it?”

She nodded.

There was a curse under breath. “Did he make you?”

It took a moment to get her thoughts together to form more than a one word response. “Does he have a track record of making people?”

“Yeah. Happened to my older sister before she graduated and moved away. He makes it seem like it won’t be such a bad thing, but he’s pushy. It’s coercion.”

Hael nodded in understanding and was silent for a minute before deciding what to say. “No, he didn’t force me.” Her heart sank in her chest and she looked down into the clear water in her cup. It wasn’t fascinating, but it was something to look at other than the disappointment or anger she knew she would see otherwise.

There was a hand on her wrist and another that took the glass from her. Hael didn’t flinch away from the touch like she would have just yesterday. She watched as the glass was set on the coffee table and both hands came back to close gently around hers. “Hey, eyes.” It was an odd command, but understandable nonetheless.

He gave her a soft half-smile when she met his gaze, only the right side of his lips tilting up. “You can stop trying to hide and make yourself seem as small as possible.” She hadn’t realized she was. “Not that you need my approval or anything, but I’m not mad. We all make mistakes.”

His thumbs were stroking across the back of her hands and Hael could feel the shivering start in her shoulders. It could have been the drugs wearing off, it could have been the proximity to this guy she had only met the day before—she couldn’t tell. 

Inias cocked his head just slightly in concern at her shaking. “Are you cold?” She shook her head. “You’re starting to come down a little?” She nodded. “Wait here for two seconds, ok?” He gave her hands a sharp squeeze before he let go and stood from the couch, moving into the bedroom. When he came back, he was carrying a blanket—the polar fleece kind that she liked. He couldn’t have known that, though, so it was pure coincidence.

He handed the folded mound of blue over to her and went to look in the cabinets of the entertainment center. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

Hael didn’t know what she wanted at all, but she said yes anyway. “Whatever is fine.” She didn’t really bother to look when he pulled a case from the shelf and popped the disk in. She wasn’t going to focus much on it.

The couch dipped as Inias settled next to her. His back was against the armrest and his legs were stretched out toward her without touching. Close, but considerate. He was smart.

She wasn’t even cold, not really, but she unfolded the blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. Sensations still felt a little stronger than normal, so she shifted it a few times against her skin. It was soft, comforting, and her eyes started to droop within the first ten minutes of the movie.

Tap, tap. 

Hael felt the pressure against her shoulder, but she didn’t move. Were her eyes closed? 

Tap, tap. 

This time she blinked them open and looked over at Inias blearily, assuming since he was the only other person in the apartment, he had to be the one waking her. “Hmmm, yeah?” She yawned.

“If you, ah, want to, you can lie down.” He stretched his arms out a little with his face turned away from her, but that didn’t stop her from noticing the blush climbing over the collar of his tshirt. “I’ve heard that, uh, I make a pretty good pillow, you know, just if you want to, um…”

She blinked slowly at him. His nervousness was endearing instead of creepy, and he did look kinda comfortable. Apparently the silence while she thought was too much for him to handle.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make this awkward. I just thought maybe you would want to…” Hael shifted his legs open a little wider with her hip when she scooted forward, worming her way between them to lay on her side. Her cheek was pressed to the center of his chest and she draped the blanket, along with her arm, over top of his torso. “...oh.” The word was small—shocked, even.

“Yeah, oh,” she teased. Warm breath shifted her hair as Inias chuckled softly. He was right, though; he was comfortable. The shockwaves from earlier had almost subsided, but occasionally Hael would have a small tremor. It wasn’t until the fourth one happened, about halfway through the movie, she was guessing, that Inias wrapped his arms around her. One was around her shoulder, the other high on her waist, and he gave a short squeeze.

She should have been panicking, but right now she couldn’t bring herself to. Being close to someone like this, someone she knew couldn’t hurt her, was something she hadn’t had for a while. He just felt… safe.

“You all right?” He asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“You sighed kind of heavy.”

She shook her head slightly where it was pressed against his chest. It wasn’t a denial, more just a way of snuggling deeper into him. The smell of cologne faded from a day’s wear was weaving its way into her nostrils. God, it was good. “I was just thinking was all.”

“What about?” A slight pause. “If I may ask, anyways.”

Her response was hesitant. “I… kind of like it here.”

“The town?”

How in the world was she about to say this? Hael nudged her nose into his chest more, hiding half of her mouth, so the words came out quiet and a little slurred. “Here with you.”

He was silent, but the squeeze to her shoulders let her know that he had heard and acknowledged. No words were really necessary at the moment, which was odd. It wasn’t until twenty minutes later that she felt the heat of breath brush across her hair and the words, “I like it, too.”

The laugh was a small hum out of her chest before they fell back to quiet.

Inias shifted every couple minutes toward the end of the movie, seemingly uncomfortable. Hael moved to bring her head up to look at him, maybe ask what was bothering him, but his hand pressed her back to his chest. Her heart stuttered a little bit, both from the hand gently stroking her hair and the encroaching feeling of being trapped. She couldn’t tell which one was winning out.

“I have to ask. I tried not to because I knew how weird it would be, but I really have to.”

Shit, this was just what she didn’t want. He had been so good until now, not asking about the things any normal person would.

“Why were you running?”

There it was. “I wasn’t running.”

“Don’t lie. I’ve done this before, I know what it looks like.” Inias sat up a little straighter, forcing Hael to support herself some on her arms or sit up completely. She stuck close to him and with his hands still on her back, he didn’t seem to mind. “Look, I know you’re running from something—someone. I want you to stay here with me, and I know that’s absolutely insane, but I feel the need to protect you. I can’t do that if I don’t know what it is that you are trying to escape from.”

Wait. Hold on just a minute. “You want me to actually stay?”

“Yes, but don’t avoid the question, ok? I want to help you. And tonight’s stunt didn’t bode well for what you’re trying to hide from.”

Hael pushed away from him then. He was judging her, and of course he was. He had every reason to question the recently cracked-out girl snuggled up to him on the couch. Hands toyed with the hem of her shirt as she thought of where to start—what all to tell him.

“I… used to deal. Using, too, but mostly dealing. I stopped about a year ago—both things.”

“Then why tonight? Why would you take anything from Andy? What were you even doing back there?”

“I won’t be able to explain anything if you keep asking me questions.” Hael tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked down at her hands where they still fingered the material of her shirt. “I didn’t get it from Andy, by the way.” She paused to take a breath and her peripheral vision showed that Inias had cocked his head. “He got it from me.”

“You… what?” He was confused, not accusatory, so that was something at least.

“I sold him the cocaine.”

“Where did you get it?”

“What did I say about the questions?” She huffed.

Inias held both hands up in a surrender before motioning her to continue.

Well, here went nothing. “I found the drugs in the trunk of my car when I took it over to the shop to be fixed. I had a feeling that my… that he would have stashed something in there, and I was right. I found it planted underneath the carpeting, so I took it out. I needed the money to get my car fixed, and I knew if I sold it that I would be able to cover the cost.

“The fact that I was high when you found me… that was my own fault. He offered some to me after we made the deal and I couldn’t say no. I should have, but I didn’t.” Hael heard the way her voice was starting to break and could only hope Inias didn’t. To be perceived as weak was one of the few things that she hated most.

Of course she couldn’t be so lucky. Inias reached over and cupped a hand around her cheek and jaw, thumb stroking lightly against her skin. “It’s ok.” Simple as that. She wanted to kiss him for it.

She did kiss him for it.

Hael surged forward and caught Inias’ lips with hers, both of her palms plastered to his cheeks. The kiss wasn’t soft or perfect. It was an awkward mashing of lips, teeth, and tongue. It resulted in bitten lips, but it was good.

Inias pulled back from her after a few minutes, both of their breaths coming fast. His hands played with the tips of her hair, running back and forth through it, sometimes taking the time to twirl a strand around his finger. Clearly a nervous gesture. He had dropped his gaze the second the kiss broke.

“Look at me?” Hael said, and it took a moment or two before he would raise his head. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Quickly, he shook his head back and forth one, two, three times. “No, it’s not that. You’re fine, I’m f-fine.” Space for a breath. “I just don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you.”

“I don’t.”

“Yeah, I know, but I’m letting you sleep in my room, and you’re probably still buzzing a little, and I just… I don’t want you to think I’m a bad guy or something.”

She chuckled—probably the wrong move based on the way Inias cringed a little—before speaking again. “I don’t think you’re a bad guy, ok? Stop worrying.” The poor thing looked so upset and it was rare that she would be the one comforting. Hael didn’t really have that whole maternal instinct thing. 

A yawn hit her and she stretched. Getting to her feet, she held her hand out to Inias, but he didn’t take it right away. Just kind of stared at it and then looked at her quizzically. “I’m a bit tired,” she said. “Do you want to come to bed with me?”

If his jaw could have literally hit the floor, Hael was sure it would have. Holding back the laugh that was bubbling its way up her throat wasn’t an option either. “Look, I’m not asking for sex, so calm down. I would just feel better if you stayed with me tonight.” She fumbled a little trying to come up with a reasoning to appease the questioning look that still hadn’t been wiped from his face. “You know, I just don’t want you to fuck up your back or anything by sleeping on the couch.” Yeah, right, like he was going to actually buy that. Well done.

However, Inias didn’t argue after that and took her hand, leading her back to his bedroom. His hand around hers was warm and soft—the way it was supposed to feel, not how it felt when he touched her earlier with the drugs flowing through her system. The description was the same, but the feeling wasn’t as intense. Instead of lighting her up, it was keeping her grounded.

Hael gathered her sleep clothes and went to change in the bathroom while Inias rummaged in his dresser. When she pulled her shirt off over her head, she ducked her gaze from the mirror, not wanting to catch sight of the scars on her shoulders and back. Seeing them wasn’t necessary to remind her that they were there—Hael could feel them tugging sometimes when she stretched. They were signs of a hatred she couldn’t get rid of and she despised them. Despised him for giving them to her.

Quickly her Led Zepplin t-shirt was tugged into place and she could look at her reflection again. Her hair was a little mussed, but overall in good condition, though she would need a shower by morning for sure. Pants were pulled off and quickly replaced by a pair of shorts. When Hael ran from the house, she had managed to grab everything she needed, but wished she had picked up her athletic shorts instead of these. They were so tight to her butt and so short that, in the presence of a guy, she thought they were going to be too revealing.

Before returning to the bedroom, she slid the shorts down as low on her hips as she could in an attempt to cover more skin. A failed attempt, really, since they still barely covered the meat of her ass, but it would have to do. When she opened the door and went back into Inias’ room, she found him standing in the same place, in the same clothes, still digging through things in his dresser.

His cheeks were reddened, brow furrowed, and it only served to make those blue eyes stand out more. Hael leaned her weight against the door frame, clothes bundled in her arms against her stomach still. “What’s wrong?”

“I, uh,” Inias cleared his throat. “I could have sworn I still had that pair of pajama pants that my mom gave me for Christmas a few years ago, but I-I can’t find them.”

With a smile and a shrug, Hael went to put her clothes back into her bag by the foot of the bed before looking back over her shoulder at him. “You can sleep in boxers, I don’t mind.”

The way his back snapped straight and his breathing halted was a sure sign of embarrassment and it was so cute she had to contain a laugh. Hael crawled under the covers, tucking them up around her shoulders and under her chin. Her back was to Inias, but she could hear the shuffle of clothes as he undressed.

He moved quickly around to his side and slid in next to her. She had slow blinked in the time he moved—not fully closing her eyes, but giving him some modicum of privacy. Not that it mattered, really. Inias was facing her when she opened them again, those blue eyes tracking over her face, watching her expressions.

Hael’s gaze dropped to what she could see of his shoulder. It was dusted with freckles and she wondered why he didn’t have them across the bridge of his nose. She let her face slip into a comfortable smile, trying to ease the worry and tension on his. It didn’t. “I’m not gonna bite, you know.”

Inias nodded. “I know. I just… I’m…” He took a breath before rushing his words out. “I’m wondering why exactly you ended up here.”

She paused. This wasn’t a conversation that she really wanted to have. He was a sweet kid, and she did trust him for some godforsaken reason, but she didn’t want to see him pity her. The few other people she had told did. Except for one who outright didn’t believe her.

“Look,” he spoke before she could decide what she was going to do. “I know you only told half the truth earlier. There’s something else, something bigger, going on here and the drug dealing was only a part of it. I just want to help.”

Hael cleared her throat lightly before starting. “My ex is the reason I sold and used. We both have addictive personalities and it was probably what did us in. He was addicted to the high and I was addicted to him. It didn’t do us any favors.

“Eventually, once I started using as an excuse to spend time with him, he asked me if I would sell for him. At first he phrased it like they were little errands. Things like, ‘Can you swing by Luc’s tonight and give him this?’ Made it seem like it wasn’t a deal. But after a certain point, he started giving me an allotted amount a week that I had to sell. The money didn’t even go to me, it went to him, obviously.”

Inias looked like he was about to interrupt and say something, but she unburied her hand from the covers and held up a finger, telling him to wait. She had to get this out now or it wasn’t happening.

“Then, there was the time that I wasn’t able to make the sale. I had been sick earlier in the week and hadn’t left the house until Thursday afternoon. I was only able to get half of it sold. When he came to see me Saturday night and I told him, he hit me.” 

Inias’ eyes grew wide. 

“That was the first time and he took it easy on me, I’ll admit. Every time after that was worse—harder, more cruel.” Hael cleared her voice again when she could feel her throat tightening. There were a few times that my whole side and stomach were covered in bruises. Later on, he took to lashing me with his belt when I upset him. Across my shoulder blades.”

Somewhere during her confession she had looked away from Inias, not wanting to see his reaction, so she was just staring at the sheets between them and a little bit of his chest. Hael didn’t need to be able to see him to hear everything in his voice. Hurt, anger, fear—everything she had felt many times before.

“Why didn’t you leave?”

“I just couldn’t. Every time he would apologize to me. Say he was sorry, that he didn’t want to hurt me, that he wouldn’t do it again… that he loved me. I loved him, too, and I couldn’t just stop. I tried to, believe me. His apologies were just so sincere that I truly thought he wouldn’t do it again.”

“How many times did he hit you?”

“More than I can count.” Her laugh was clipped and thick. “But it never really mattered.”

Inias was quiet for awhile before speaking again. “Why was this time different. Why did you run?”

Hael wanted to roll over onto her other side, facing away from him, but she trusted him with this information. She wanted to tell him. Especially if she was thinking of staying; he deserved to know now. “He tried to hit me after I had told him I was pregnant with his kid.”

He didn’t so much gasp as it was a controlled intake of breath. Regardless, she predicted the shocked expression. “It’s so cliched. Getting knocked up by your drug dealer boyfriend and running away when he threatens to take the baby from you. But, that’s what it is.”

“Why doesn’t he want it?”

“Couldn’t tell you. He grabbed me, shook me, told me that I needed to get it taken care of or he was going to take care of it himself. I don’t even want to know what he would do.” Her voice had faded off to a whisper the longer she spoke. “I just don’t want him to find us.”

Inias took her hand that was resting on the bed between them. “I’ll keep you safe.” His jaw was set, eyes determined for a moment before the expression softened again into the shy boy she had met at the grocery store the day before. “I mean, if that’s ok with you. If you want that. ‘Cause, I mean, I totally understand if you don’t want me t—”

“Dude, please shut up and kiss me, ok?”

Thankfully, he did.


	6. Chapter 6

Inias’ arms felt warm and comforting wrapped around her middle as they both slept. Hael actually did feel safe as she had drifted off to sleep, which was her mistake. She didn’t hear the lock click open on the front door, and she didn’t hear the shoes on the stairs. These were things she was attuned to listening for while she was with him, but for some reason she didn’t think she would need to be on edge here. If they hadn’t found her yet, they likely weren’t going to.

So, she was scared when a pair of arms lifted her less-than-gracefully out of his bed. A large, gloved hand was over her mouth before she could scream, the scent of the leather worming its way into her nose. God, no. Bile rose in the back of her throat.

Another two pairs of hands were dragging Inias up and gagging him—a bandana that Hael recognized as one of hers was being tied behind his head. He was fighting to get out of their hold, legs kicking, arms pulling against their strength. There wasn’t any beating those two. She knew just how strong Luc and Zach were. Hael shook her head at Inias and tried to scream through the gloved hand to get his attention. He stilled some, but still struggled—a little bit of his fight draining.

“If I remove my hand, you won’t scream, right?” God, that voice sent chills through her. If the devil was ever to speak, the sound would closely resemble him. She nodded, though, and he released her mouth. The other arm still held tight to her waist, keeping her back pressed to his chest. “There, there. See, now we can just have a peaceful chat. It’s good to see you again.”

“I wish I could say the same, Michael.” Hael pulled her elbow up, ready to sink it into his gut, but he anticipated and grabbed her arm, restraining it against her chest.

The light tsking in her ear made her blanch. “I assumed you knew better than to fight back by now.” Lips touched lightly to the hinge of her jaw and she tried to pull away. She wasn’t able to and the lips just continued softly down her neck, making her wince like it burned. “I missed you while you were gone. Even such a short time away from you makes me unhappy.”

Hael trembled against his chest when he bit down at the crook of her neck. It didn’t hurt, but it was clearly a warning. She didn’t look back at Michael, didn’t need to see his face to know those eyes were bright with a mixture of rage and excitement. Didn’t need to see the crooked smile she could feel pressed to her skin. These were all things she knew by heart. Instead, she kept her eyes locked on Inias where he was staring right back at her. “How did you find me?”

“Did you really think you were that clever—running away in the middle of the night? I tagged your car when we first got together. Didn’t want you running off with precious cargo. The GPS led me to this podunk town and your friends at The Roadhouse were so kind as to help a worried boyfriend locate his missing girl. You always were too trusting.”

“You always were too conniving,” she spat back.

Michael laughed in that same clear tone she had always heard and it chilled her to the bone. He was capable of making the sound pierce her like a knife. “Now, I’ll take that.”

She struggled against him again, but he held fast. The way Inias was looking at her was horrid. He was so scared, so desperate to get away. Probably away from her, too.

Michael’s hum resonated from his chest and she could feel it pressed against her shoulders. “I don’t like the way the two of you keep looking at each other. Luc, take him in the other room.”

“No!” Hael bucked wildly against Michael’s grip, but she gained no leverage to break free. “No, he stays here. Luc, stop!”

Luc and Zach were already dragging him out of the bedroom. Inias shot a few frenzied glances over his shoulder to her, but neither could do anything. Her heart sank as they closed the door between them. All Inias knew was that they were being kept apart. What Hael knew was that Michael separated his victims when one of them was about to be killed. 

She’d seen it before, the few times she was involved with some of his deals that went a little south. He would let them see each other for a couple minutes before one was forcefully removed from the room. Hael hung her head to her chest and until then she hadn’t noticed the wetness on her cheeks. This only ever ended one way.

Michael never took his own shots.

“Now, I’m prepared to let you go and we can talk about this, if you’re willing to cooperate. But that means no screaming and no running for that door, or you know what’s going to happen, right?”

Hael nodded. He supported her weight as he led her over to the bed, but he wasn’t holding her forcefully to him anymore. Michael sat her down on the edge and crouched in front of her. It was like he was a parent about to have a disappointed discussion with their child about how it wasn’t ok to hit other kids. It was sickening.

He took her hands in his and squeezed them tight. Her stomach turned, but she let him keep the contact. “I’m glad to see you’re all right. Unharmed.”

She couldn’t hide the sneer. “Are you? ‘Cause the last time I saw you there were about to be punches thrown.”

Michael bowed his head, looking at the ground between his knees where he hovered. “You know how sorry I am about that. I had been out with the guys and you sprung the news on me. I was a little drunk, so I stumbled when I tried to hug you. That’s all it was.”

It was true, he had been drunk, but his explanation couldn’t justify his the words from that night. “And what about when you said that if I didn’t get rid of the baby, you’d get rid of both of us?”

His stare turned back to her and she could see the malice burning behind his eyes. She had never talked back to him before and he clearly wasn’t a fan. Hael shrunk back into herself a little, averted her gaze.

“I didn’t mean it. Why don’t you just come home with me and we’ll put all this behind us?”

God, the thought of going back with him made her feel even closer to vomiting than before. There was no good outcome for this, but maybe… maybe she could protect Inias. He didn’t deserve any of this and Hael knew she shouldn’t have put him in danger in the first place. She could make this work. Had to.

She swallowed thickly, wiped the salty tracks from her face and met Michael’s hardened eyes with a pair of her own. “I will go home with you—”

“Excellent.”

“But,” she interrupted him and pointed to the bedroom door. “He stays here, unharmed. Call off your men and then I’ll go with you.”

Michael tutted at her. “You never could just accept when someone was giving you a gift.” Hael’s brow furrowed and her nose scrunched up slightly. “This _is_ your get-out-of-jail-free card. I don’t see what room you have to be bargaining with me.”

“If you let him go, I will come back with you and I won’t run again. I will stay by your side as long as you want me.”

The smile that pulled Michael’s lips wide was unsettling, almost devilish, and not in the good way. “You might just have a trade there. But, you would have to agree to one thing for me to ensure you make good on your promise.”

“What’s that?”

He reached a hand up and around the back of her neck, fingers trailing lightly over the soft hairs at the nape. She tried not to flinch when he touched her, but it was unavoidable. Michael noticed, too, and he smirked. Hael’s fear was a new toy for him and he was loving it. “You’re going to let me plant a microchip in you. Right here, under the skin.”

Hael shivered at the thought and Michael just kept on smiling. It was disgusting. But if she refused this, he was likely to take her anyway. He would hurt Inias, and she couldn’t let him do that. Just as Inias had said earlier that he wanted to protect her, well, it turned out it worked both ways. She gave a slight nod—just enough tilt to make it recognizable.

“Words, please.”

“Ok.”

He eyed her suspiciously. It was never enough for him.

She snarled and spat out, “Yes.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Michael leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her in an awkward hug that landed his face just near her shoulder.

That’s when she heard some scuffling and banging from the other room. Hael sat straight at attention, starting to struggle against Michael’s hold. Why were they fighting? Inias should have known better than to go against people bigger than him; it was a survival instinct she assumed he had. 

There was a crash of glass, then a moment of dead silence before the triple crack of gunshots.

If it was actually possible for blood to freeze in veins, Hael figured that was what happened to her in that moment. She tried to scream, but the sound caught in her throat when she opened her mouth. Michael slapped her cheek to get her to focus back on him, but it only enraged her.

“Don’t you ever touch me again,” she growled, and dug the heels of her hands into his shoulders. With a strong, sharp push, Hael was able to unbalance him enough that she could get away. Michael caught her wrist when he stabilized since she hadn’t gotten far enough out of reach.

“Remember our deal?” He hissed at her.

She balked. “The deal is off. I said unharmed and you had your men kill him.”

“I didn’t give the order for it. They must have had to make a judgement call. That boy of yours likes to get feisty with you, too? You know science shows that people tend to gravitate toward the same type.”

Hael yanked against his grip once, and when he didn’t give, she leaned down to face level and spit at him. The glob of saliva landed high on his cheekbone and Michael grimaced. While not much in the way of fighting back, it still felt pleasing. “He’s nothing like you.”

“He might not be now, but every man can become like me. Except, well, not him now.” Michael laughed and Hael had the intense urge to put her opposite fist to his face.

She didn’t get the chance, before she heard the door open behind her. It was going to be Luc and Zach dragging Inias’ body into the room for her to see, and she couldn’t face it. Hael kept her back to the door, but her skin prickled when the low voice behind her said, “Let her go.”

Inias? 

She turned and found him standing—albeit a little worse for wear—in the doorway with a gun in his hand. It was trained on what little of Michael he was able to see around Hael, but she shifted to clear his line of sight.

For a moment she thought that Michael might not release her wrist, even under the line of a gun, but he eventually tossed it from his grasp and held his hands up in front of him. “She’s not worth your effort, you know? She tell you she’s knocked up with my kid?” He said in that cock-sure voice—he thought he had the upper hand.

Inias’ voice was controlled. Hael wouldn’t call it calm, but it stayed in an even, low register. “Yes, she told me. And you know what? I think she _is_ worth my effort. She’s going to need some help over the coming months, at the very least, and I want to be there.”

Michael laughed. “So, what do you think you’re doing with that thing, then?” He gestured to the gun with a nod. “Seems a bit strange to be offering help to one person while you hold a gun to the head of another, don’t you think?”

The hesitation was enough for Michael to interject again. “I don’t think you’re capable of it. Killing a man. It takes a lot. Sure, it’s just a simple trigger pull—maybe five pounds of pressure—but mentally? That take a lot more strength. Surety. I’m not convinced you’ve got that.”

To be honest, Hael wasn’t sure of it either. Inias was sweet-natured as far as she knew and she had no idea if he’d ever fired a gun before tonight. She was going to guess that he hadn’t by the amount his hand was shaking, but that could have been the adrenaline overload, as well.

Hael moved to Inias’ side and gently placed her hand on his wrist. He turned to look at her and she shook her head just slightly before lowering his arm, pointing the gun at the floor. That laugh sounded again from the other side of the room and Hael wondered if it had always irritated her this much. 

“Look at you, Hael. Still defending me after all. I knew you wouldn’t be able to let him hurt me.”

She nodded and shifted the gun out of Inias’ hand. “You’re right. I wasn’t going to let him.” The look on Inias’ face was confused, hurt, and a few other indiscernible things. Hael put her hand on his forearm to try and reassure him. Her words weren’t clicking with him yet and he genuinely thought that she was taking Michael’s side. She smirked a little and turned back to Michael. 

“I wasn’t about to let him have your blood on his hands. He’s too good of a person and I’m not about to let you corrupt him. But, me?” She cocked the gun and leveled it at him, gripped tight in both hands. “Now, that’s a different story.”

Even in the darkness, Hael could see Michael’s face pale. She’d almost expected a cliched “you wouldn’t” from him, but he stayed silent, knowing full well that she would. Hael gave a quick glance over her shoulder. “Inias, I want you to leave.”

His hand found her lower back, the heat of it a startlingly large measure of comfort. “No, I want to—”

“You don’t need to see this. Please?” She didn’t bother to look, but the hand rubbed a small circle before she felt him pull away. The room was silent after the door closed behind him.

Michael’s face held none of the humor from before. The quiet settled into the room, into them, neither daring a word yet. He didn’t want to startle her and she needed to find the final words that would be enough for her. His eyes stayed leveled on her until she spoke again, her voice soft and low. “I did love you once. I’ll give you that.”

“I know you did… I—”

“Don’t say it. Not now.”

He nodded solemnly. “Ok.”

Before she could change her mind, she steeled her nerves and pulled the trigger.

Michael’s head didn’t snap back and his body didn’t jerk to the ground like they always depicted in the movies. He just sort of crumpled, falling to his side where he lay motionless. The hole in his forehead—almost centered between the eyes, just a touch too high—barely leaked more than a trickle of blood, while she could see most of it seeping from behind his head.

Even with her strong will, she barely made it into the bathroom before she puked. There weren’t hands stroking her back or holding her hair even a few minutes after. Hael was thankful that Inias had at least listened and stayed out of the room. It took a minute, but she was able to calm her stomach some and stand. She didn’t look at Michael’s body when she crossed the bedroom to the door. Her stomach was tense still and she wasn’t going to chance it. Right now, she needed to talk to Inias.

He was pacing the living room when she exited, shutting the door behind her. Zach was lying face down, the blood already deep in the carpet, and Luc’s feet were sticking out from behind the couch. Her stomach turned, but she was able to control it. Before Hael could open her mouth to speak, his arms were around her, crushing the breath from her chest.

“I called the police already,” he murmured against her hair.

She nodded.

“It was self-defense, you know?”

“I know, I know,” she said, pulling away. She didn’t know. Not really.

“Then why do you look so scared?”

An execution shot was hardly self-defense. “When should they be…” Tires were crunching the gravel parking lot of the grocery store below them and the flashing lights were shining through the windows of the apartment. “Oh.”

“Do you want to come down with me or do you want to wait here for us?”

Her head was starting to spin. “I, um, I’m going to sit down for a minute.”

“I’ll be right back.” Inias’ lips brushed against the hair at her forehead before he headed downstairs.

She didn’t so much sit as her knees gave out, landing her on the couch. It was just a matter of waiting, now.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me on Tumblr, I promise I don't bite:  
> SPN NSFW Multi-ship sideblog: [wingedwincest.tumblr.com](http://www.wingedwincest.tumblr.com)  
> Main blog: [castielsstarr.tumblr.com](http://www.castielsstarr.tumblr.com)


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